He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
