she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
