so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
