Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
