If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
