Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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