This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize