i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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