It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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