Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Text me some of your sweat
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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