Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize