U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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