So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
