Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
