so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?