Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.