i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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