Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
