apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
