dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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