She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize