like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
