ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
