And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
