Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
