Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
