do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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