we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
wow bdsm is so cute
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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