I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
