I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize