she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
