we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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