No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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