So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
