Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
