I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
