I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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