No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
