you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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