Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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