Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
