she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize