I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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