I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she peed on how many people?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
