its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
