Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
