Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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