meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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