he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
