It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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