He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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