On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize