hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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