You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.