Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
  Replies (18) Good night (966) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

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  (419): mustard is like jesus in yellow tights http://tfl.nu/uvec
  Replies (9) Good night (1317) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

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  (818): hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win http://tfl.nu/nyog
  Replies (14) Good night (8213) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
  Replies (27) Good night (5965) Bad night (2249) Order T-Shirt
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  (+82): View more from

  I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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  (+82): I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes. http://tfl.nu/b0wk
  Replies (24) Good night (891) Bad night (7281) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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  (781): I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house. http://tfl.nu/8emi
  Replies (13) Good night (5553) Bad night (1250)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1458) Bad night (7052) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator

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  (703): Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator http://tfl.nu/f05m
  Replies (7) Good night (1913) Bad night (1721) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
  Replies (15) Good night (2744) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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  (541): Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl? http://tfl.nu/31z4
  Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

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  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1020) Bad night (4306) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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  (517): Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember. http://tfl.nu/2slr
  Replies (13) Good night (2458) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"

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  (501): I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d" http://tfl.nu/qasx
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)

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  (973): St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition) http://tfl.nu/fbpq
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (388)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

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  (540): I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher. http://tfl.nu/sltj
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (255)

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