After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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