i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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