i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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